


The Day We Discover Why

by orphan_account



Series: WolfStarBucks [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Depression, Everyone lives, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, No Voldemort, Polyamory, Raising Harry, birthday fic, poly families, polyamory parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 06:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5995111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Remus' thirtieth birthday and he's feeling unaccomplished.  His lovers set out to remind him just how loved, needed, and important he is to their family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day We Discover Why

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so not loving my birthday this year (turning 35 is dreadful) so I'm taking it out on poor Moony and also making myself feel better with some WolfStarBucks since I haven't done a poly fic in a while. This is set in the same universe as my other magic poly fic.

“Moony’s sulking. I think.” Sirius ran his fingers through his hair with one hand, the other tightly clutching his tea as James strolled into the kitchen.

“He is having a lie-in,” James replied, which was a less-than normal thing for the werewolf who really only ever wasn’t a morning person after full moons. The full was happening on his birthday—which happened to be that night— which meant he would be more irritable than usual, but it was incredibly rare that Remus would miss breakfast with his lovers. 

“It’s not good. I don’t like it,” Sirius said with a sniff. “You think because Lily and Marls took Harry for this long?”

James hummed. Their son had gone on holiday with his mums for the last week, and was due back in the morning. And then James realised he might know what the problem is. “You think it’s his birthday?”

Sirius pulled a face. “Since when has Remus ever cared?”

“Dunno. He wasn’t entirely thrilled about turning twenty-nine last year, was he?” James asked with a hum. “Thirty’s worse.”

“Wasn’t worse for me,” Sirius said with a shrug, having turned thirty several months before his two lovers.

“Yes well, you’re not exactly the same as Moony, are you?” James challenged with a small smile. He reached over and curled his hand round the back of Sirius’ neck, kissing him softly. “We should bunk off.”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “James Potter wants to bunk off?”

“Oy! You’re talking to Head Boy with record detentions, here,” James said with an indignant sniff.

“Also the James Potter who now heads up the Auror Department and hasn’t missed a day for being poorly in what? Two years?”

“Well this isn’t poorly, is it,” James said, knocking his forehead against Sirius’. “This is our Moony who is having a sulk and I do not like my Moony having a sulk.”

Sirius’ lips curled into a soft smile. “Alright. I’ll head to the office and tell them there’s a family issue. Not like anyone will much care, we’re not exactly busy, are we?”

“Mm, no.”

“Then I’ll go out and get something for Moons. Cake you reckon? Or is this a chocolate pie level crisis?”

James worried his bottom lip. “Honestly, I think it might be pie.”

Sirius winced. “Fine. And you will go crawl up in the bed with him and cheer him up as best you can. With cuddles and…whatever.”

James nodded, then pulled Sirius in for another soft kiss. “I love you, Padfoot.”

Sirius cupped his hand over James’ cheek and nuzzled his nose against James’. “I love you too. Now go.”

James set off for the stairs as Sirius turned on the spot and Disapparated with a loud crack. Grabbing the banister, James took the steps two at a time, and in seconds hit the landing. Heading down to their shared bedroom, he pushed the door open and peered inside. The room was dark, the curtains drawn, and Remus was on the far left side of the bed with the duvet tucked round him defensively.

With a sigh, James felt his stomach sink. It was unlike Remus to feel so dejected, but he supposed it was natural. Harry would be eleven this year, meaning he’d be off to Hogwarts come September and it was a change for all of them. Remus hadn’t been able to hold down a job very often—and whilst James and Sirius had persistently petitioned for better Werewolf rights at the Ministry, things only seemed to be getting worse as the years went on.

Turning thirty put life into perspective. They were no longer fresh from school. They were no longer young, silly lads bashing about London and falling into bed for quick shags. They were no longer parents to a chubby-faced toddler.

They were proper adults and sometimes it just made them all feel old.

Remus more so as the werewolf life expectancy wasn’t as long as other wizards. He was already very grey, and he ached all the time.

It killed James a little bit each morning after the full moon as he carefully documented that it was taking Remus longer and longer to recover, and even with Prongs and Padfoot by his side, he just hurt all the time.

Taking a breath, James let himself into the room, crossing over to the bed. He dropped out of his pyjama bottoms and shirt, tugging the covers away from Remus’ arms before slipping inside. He could tell by Remus’ breathing his lover was awake, but he didn’t turn or acknowledge James at all.

With a sigh, James pressed his naked torso against Remus and carefully brought his fingers up to toy with the messy curls. “Love?”

Remus grunted a response, and James hid a smile in the back of Remus’ neck. Sirius was well known for his fantastic strops but when Remus was in an unpleasant mood, it was something to behold. It probably said something about James that he found it so endearing.

“Do you want some breakfast.”

“Not hungry.”

James grinned again, letting his fingers carefully glide over Remus’ scalp, and felt his stomach unknot when, after a moment, Remus relaxed a fraction. He even let a small moan out, though it was barely a breath, and James let himself nuzzle in closer.

“I love you,” he breathed.

Remus went tense, still silent, then carefully shifted back into James’ arms. “I know.”

James pressed soft kisses along the back of Remus’ shoulders and neck, moving his hand from Remus’ hair to his waist. His palm laid flat along Remus’ stomach, drawing up and down the soft hair along his abdomen. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”

“…just don’t really want to think about anything right now,” Remus muttered, turning his face into the pillow.

“So don’t,” James breathed. He hitched Remus even closer, their skin pressed tight together, and James stuck his face against Remus’ wild curls. “You don’t have to think about a thing. Just let me fuss a bit, alright?”

Remus sighed, but it was a more pleasant sigh than irritated, and he relaxed into James’ soft touches. After a while—just as James knew he would—Remus turned to face his lover. His eyes were half-lidded, mouth drawn into a frown, brows furrowed. But when James cupped his cheek, Remus leant into the touch and let his eyelids flutter closed.

“Shouldn’t be so good to me.”

James blinked behind his glasses. “And why the hell not?”

“M’not…it’s…” Remus huffed. “You and Sirius have sacrificed so much, Jamie. Your Quidditch career, Sirius’ bike shop. All for what?”

“Moons…”

“No,” Remus said, his eyes opening. “You wanted to do those things, and you stayed because you thought you might be able to make a difference. And for all that you’ve tried, all you’ve got is a shit reputation with the Bureaucratic Heads who now try to fight against every proposition you make. I haven’t accomplished anything more than a handful of defence books that I had to publish under Sirius’ name because no one could know it was me. What…what am I, James? What have I done with my life?”

“You…” James swallowed audibly, trying not to squeeze Remus too tight because he _ached_ at the thought that Remus felt like he hadn’t been worth anything. “You’re my everything, Moons. My actual everything. You keep this family together. You…Merlin Remus, you’ve raised a son.” When Remus scoffed, James grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look up. “You spent more time with Harry than any of us, and we have an amazing child because of you. He loves you more than he loves anyone, do you realise this? And the work might be under Sirius’ name, but it’s yours and it’s bloody brilliant. You’re kind and selfless, and everything we’ve worked toward—whether we’ve had someone standing in our way or not—has been for you. Because we love you. And I will not—I refuse, Remus—to live without you. I would be nothing without you.”

Remus’ eyes went red-rimmed and wet, and he buried his face in James’ neck before he could make a spectacle of himself. “I love you,” he muttered.

James let out a slightly wobbly laugh as he ran his fingers into Remus’ hair and kissed the top of his head. “Merlin, I know you do. And I love you more than words can say. You are my Moony, alright? And Sirius…god he loves you more than he loves anything. You are our family and I know that turning thirty is the bloody worst. It makes every accomplishment feel…mediocre. But you’re not.”

Remus let out a breath and pulled his head back, looking into James’ eyes for a moment before closing the distance and kissing him softly and soundly. “What would I do without you?”

James chuckled and tucked him close. “You don’t have to find out. But it’s alright to feel sad right now, Moony. Just…let me hold you. We’ll have a kip and when Sirius gets back, pie.”

Remus perked up just a little. “Pie?”

James laughed softly and pulled the duvet high up round them. “Yes, love. We reckoned this was a pie problem, so our puppy is out there fetching you pie. Now rest, alright?”

Remus nodded, and allowed his head to drop onto James’ chest as warm arms held him and eased him into a far less fitful slumber.

*** 

Sirius crept into the cottage with his purchases, putting the food on the counter for later with a charm to keep it fresh, and with the pie he crept into the bedroom. It was mid afternoon now, and his two lovers were still curled up together under the duvet. Sirius set the sweet on the nightstand before crawling under the duvet, nuzzling his way up Remus’ back, pressing soft kisses to the naked skin as he situated himself to sandwich their morose lover.

Remus shifted, rising to consciousness slowly, leaning back as Sirius’ slender fingers curled round his hips. He let the ghost of a smile flicker across his face as he leant back and pressed a kiss to the side of Sirius’ face. “You brought pie?”

“I see how it is, Moony. Here I am slaving away for you all day to bring you cheer on your birthday and you greet me with demands for pie. I feel so loved.”

“Shut up, Padfoot,” James grumbled as Remus turned to take Sirius’ face in between his hands.

Pressing a soft, sweet kiss to Sirius’ mouth, Remus pulled back. “Thank you, love.”

Sirius grinned widely as he wrapped his arms round Remus’ waist tight and possessive. “You know I’d do anything for you. There will be no sads on my Moony’s birthday.”

James ran the palm of his hand up Remus’ spine before sitting up and grabbing the pie and spoons off the nightstand. It was a messy affair, a lot of licking bits of cream and chocolate from each other’s mouths, but by the time they were full and sated, and a bit over-sugared, Remus was smiling again.

“I’m going to shower,” Remus said, kissing Sirius first, then James before sliding to the edge of the bed. “Try to unwind before tonight.”

It was obvious Remus wanted some time alone, so the pair waited on the bed as Remus left the room. When they could hear the sounds of water, Sirius sighed and wedged himself between James’ legs, resting the side of his face against his lover’s chest.

“Was it his birthday?”

James drew his fingers into Sirius’ hair and kissed the top of his head. “A bit. It’s a lot of things. He’ll be alright, though. He just needed to be reminded how absolutely and completely loved he is.”

Sirius turned his face, pressing a kiss to James’ bare shoulder. “I don’t want him to hurt, Prongs.”

“Of course you don’t. None of us do. But it’s easy to forget some days that outside of us, Moony doesn’t have a lot of options. And it weighs on him. Sometimes he thinks we’d be better off without him.”

Sirius pulled back, looking a mixture of horrified and affronted. “No.”

“He doesn’t really believe it,” James said, taking Sirius’ face between his hands. “I reminded him.”

“I…” Sirius glanced at the door, feeling helpless and antsy. “He can’t think that. Ever. I need him.”

“He knows,” James said, and pulled Sirius in for a soothing, sweet kiss. “He does. I just held him and kissed him and made sure he knew that he was ours and our lives were nothing without him.”

“Good,” Sirius said, a tad petulant. “Merlin, imagine if Harry’d heard that shite, eh? He’d go mental.”

James chuckled at the thought. Harry was more attached to Remus than he was his other parents at times. He was likely the most loved boy on the planet, and he had unique relationships with all of his parents. He enjoyed when he was at his mum’s, and he enjoyed Quidditch with James, and working on the bike with Sirius. But he had something special with Remus. Any time Harry was hurt or frightened, he wanted his Moony.

If anyone would change the Minstry, James knew, it would be Harry. And James was determined to make sure Remus was round to see it happen.

With a sigh, he extracted himself from Sirius’ arms. “I’m going to get food ready, and then we can head out to the forest for the change.”

Sirius nodded, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. He didn’t feel good about Remus’ state of mind, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

*** 

When Remus came out of the shower, he found Sirius lounging on the bed reading over a copy of the Prophet. Dropping the paper the moment Remus walked in, Sirius reached his hands out, making a grabby motion with his fingers.

Remus chuckled, then allowed Sirius to draw him to the covers. Hovering over Remus, he feathered kisses along the freckled cheeks, ending with a slow, languid kiss on Remus’ mouth. 

“Hello beautiful.”

Remus flushed a bit, reaching up to cup Sirius’ cheek. “Hi there.”

“I know you don’t want to think about your birthday,” Sirius said, ignoring Remus’ slight wince, “but I can’t help be grateful for the day that you came into this world.”

Remus softened a bit. “I was just feeling a bit low. But it’s better now, love.”

“Good,” Sirius murmured. He leant down and kissed him again. “I don’t even know who I’d be without you, Moons. I don’t want to know. I never want to know.”

Remus laughed and ran his knuckles over Sirius’ cheek before kissing him. “Well if I can help it, you’ll never have to know, okay?”

Sirius nodded, speaking right up against Remus’ lips. “I’m going to hold you to that. Just so you know.”

*** 

Remus woke in his usual agony—not as bad as he’d been as a child before he’d met his lovers, but not as well as he’d been when he was young and spry. He was in his bed now, which meant James and Sirius had gotten him home, and there was someone beside him, but the tentative touch meant it was not either one of his husbands.

Cracking one eye open, he fixed his gaze on the messy hair and cautious smile of Harry, who was leant up on an elbow. “Hi Moony.”

Remus felt a warmth rushing through him at the sight of his son, and though his entire body screamed with the ache of breaking apart and knitting together, he held his arms out for a hug. Harry wasted no time, and Remus once again appreciated how affectionate their boy remained, even as he got older.

Harry pressed his face into Remus’ neck for a moment, then pulled back. “Paddy left pain potions on the nightstand.”

After a second, Harry had two phials pressed into his hand, and he took them down. The result was almost instantaneous, not taking away all the pain, but dulling it enough so he could sit up a bit against the pillows.

“When did you get in?” Remus asked, his voice still hoarse.

“Last night. Mum and Marly are still asleep. I used the cupboard portkey.”

The families had set up a standing portkey in Harry’s cupboard, which allowed him to travel freely between the houses as the boy saw fit. They set it up after Harry was lost over the floo network when trying to get to Remus after a particularly vicious nightmare.

“You leave a note?”

Harry rolled his eyes as he shuffled down to lean his head against Remus’ chest. Remus wrapped his arms round his son and kissed the top of his head. “I learnt my lesson last year, thank you.”

Remus chuckled and held him a bit tighter. “Did you have a good holiday? Take loads of photos?”

“Mm it was alright. I mean it was nice and all but I was just thinking too much. Or said mum.”

Remus frowned. “Thinking too much?”

“About Hogwarts,” Harry said from behind a sigh. “How I can’t just come and see you. How I might not get into Gryffindor even though all my parents were in it. And what if you get hurt on a moon? Or if something happens when Dad and Paddy are at work and…”

“Haz,” Remus said, pulling him back to look into his green eyes. “It’s going to be fine. And you’re going to have such a brilliant time you won’t even think about being home. You’ll be with Ron and the Twins, and Neville will be there. I swear you won’t even miss us.”

Harry’s eyes went a bit watery. “I will. I’ll miss you every day.” He grabbed onto Remus a little too tight, but Remus cleverly hid his wince and hugged his boy right back.

“I will miss you too. But I promise I’ll be just fine. We’ll be here for all your hols, and we’ll write all the time.” Remus kissed the top of his head again, and let himself be profoundly grateful for the amazing boy they’d all raised. “And no one is going to care if you don’t get into Gryffindor.”

“Even if I get Slytherin?”

“Even then. You know Andi was in Slytherin, right? And Reg.”

Harry sighed. “I know. I just…I’m scared.”

“That’s normal, Harry. I promise. And it passes.”

Harry huffed, but didn’t say anything as the bedroom door creaked open and James poked his head in. When he saw Remus was awake, he crossed over and flopped on the bed, wriggling until his head was in Remus’ lap, lined up next to Harry’s leg.

“Been up long?”

Remus let one hand wander into James’ hair, the other still curled round Harry’s shoulders. “Just a bit. Helping Harry feel better about potentially being sorted into Slytherin.” When James pulled a face, Remus huffed. “I was reminding him we know some brilliant people who’ve been in Slytherin.”

Smiling a bit, James looked up at his boy. “I mean, you won’t technically be a traitor to the longest standing house of Gryffindor—descendants of Godric himself. You know…”

“You are such an arse,” Remus groaned, smacking his lover on the shoulder. “Harry, we will be proud of you no matter where you go.”

James grinned and reached up, giving Harry’s cheek a pat. “Moony’s right, Haz. You couldn’t do anything to disappoint us.”

“Promise?” Harry asked in a small voice.

James nodded. “Swear it.”

Harry grinned at them, then his smile got wider when the door opened again, and Sirius unceremoniously flung himself into the group of cuddlers. He sat on Harry’s free side, nudging his boy. “Still fretting about your sorting?”

Harry sighed. “Can’t help it.”

“He’s been on about it all morning,” Sirius said, ruffling Harry’s hair. “I promised he’ll only get a short howler if he’s in Slytherin. And I’m sure Reg will send you boxes and boxes of sweets.”

“Stop it,” Remus scolded. “Don’t make it worse.”

“He knows I’m joking,” Sirius defended, tugging Harry closer. “Merlin though, we’ll miss you. But I’m so excited for you to carry on our legacy. Remember, at least three detentions a week or you are not my son.”

“Sirius,” James said, but winked at Harry who rolled his eyes.

Sirius grinned and kissed the top of Harry’s head. “You’re brilliant, you know. Raised by the best people on the sodding planet. More loved than even your dad here, and he was such a spoilt shit.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but let himself nuzzled into the embrace of three of his parents. “Thanks,” he muttered.

Remus realised just then how unfounded his morose mood was over his birthday. He might not have been as accomplished as some wizards, but he was profoundly lucky. Surrounded by people he loved most in the world, he knew not everyone had that. And he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Happy Birthday, Moony,” Harry muttered into Remus’ shoulder.

Remus held him tight. “Thank you, Harry. It really has been quite happy indeed.”


End file.
